COMFORTS: POST 17

                                        This is not my house 

We arrived back in Mobile nearly a week after Mom had died. I was still in a state of numbness and my body ran on autopilot. We spent the first few days after Mom passed making arrangements and waiting for siblings to come into town. There was about a 100 mile radius that we were working in that week and now I was exhausted.


The car was loaded with funeral flowers and things from Sandy’s house that had belonged to Mom, such as her shoes, some clothing and things. On top of that stuff, my sisters all felt the need to buy Shanon more junk to make up to her having been there when Mom died, though Shanon counted being there as a blessing. I think her biggest relief was that Mom didn’t actually jump up and do the dramatic death scene that I had described in the last post. Later I had asked Shanon what she expected, and ironically, she described a scene similar to the wild ones in my head before Mom died.

It was Monday night and we pulled in the driveway at about 8:00. A couple of neighbors met us at the car with hugs, a plant, a card, and a bottle of wine. Once again, I felt I had won the lottery – that Mom died while I was living in Mobile. They helped unload my car and carry everything inside. I asked if they would like to sit on the porch and share the bottle of wine. They gladly accepted and we spent the next couple of hours talking about Mom, Shanon’s ministering spirit, and the peaceful death. We talked about the stars and Barry, our neighbor and biology teacher at the School of Math and Science, in his soft voice, explained the phenomena in the skies the night Mom died.

We laughed and cried as Georgia, who lives next door and is my age, told her story of losing her own husband in an accident 12 years before. She was able to relate in a way that even I couldn’t. The more she shared, the more I knew I was blessed! We ate cheese and crackers and Spooky (see my earlier post called “Spooky”) took turns laying on our laps.
The night was warm and the sky was lit up with stars still remnant of the show a week before. The muffled trains sounded in the distance and the sweet scent of ginger plants permeated the air. I thought about how much Mom would have enjoyed their company; how much she would have enjoyed this night. At around 11:30 p.m. we went our separate ways and I was grateful not only for their nice gifts, but for their friendship, their presence, and their time that they so graciously shared.

       Les went back to work the next morning and I was up doing routine chores. It was as though I were testing myself, testing reality, to see if life really would go on without Mom in the world. I felt like I was walking on eggshells, as though at any second, the world would shatter into millions of pieces. I decided to go outside and do yard work. Upon walking out the back door, I noticed a chiminea on my patio. For those who don’t know what it is, it is a clay fireplace that is somewhat bottle shaped, with a hole in the side to put the wood in and it forms a bottleneck shaped chimney; kind of a southwestern look. I knew they are somewhat costly, more than one would spend for a casual gift but I had no idea where it came from. It didn’t take long to find out.


After a while, Barry was coming home for lunch. He stopped to ask how I was doing and I asked him if he knew where the chiminea came from. He said, “Yes! That is for you! We know you love the outdoors and will use it!”

       We have used it many times since then, though never as much as I want to. And when we do, it reminds me that it was given from hearts of love in my time of loss. Though Mom can never be replaced, I can not help but to count my blessings. I know that with every loss, there is a gain. With every minus there is a plus. When we lose a person we love, God will send just the right people to walk us through the valley, to give us the strength to carry on, and to breath fresh new life back into our spirits. The dark night will be laid to rest and the sun will shine again!