Since I received that first Facebook message
from Scott, after getting the strange answer to my prayer, it was evident that this would be a walk of faith and part
of that meant disallowing fear to be
mistaken for gut yet, not being stupid or putting myself in danger.
I would be lying if I said it
didn't cross my mind that I could be wasting my whole holiday season alone,
only to find out that Scott was spending it with someone else besides his
family. But my gut told me otherwise
and, in the past, when my gut has spoken, it has always proven correct; often in the reverse.
But when Scott called several
times throughout the days and evenings of Christmas Eve and Day, New Year’s Eve
and day, spending what added up to hours, and ringing in both my New Year and
his an hour later together on the phone, I was even more certain that only his family - who
knew about our friendship - would put up with that. I had thought about offering go to Arizona
when he was not released to travel but felt that would be too forward. Then Scott said he had thought of inviting me
but was afraid of inconveniencing me at the last minute. Once we realized were we on the same page,
we were kicking ourselves for not speaking up. That was as romantic as it
got.
As December slipped into January, I sensed Scott's energy wean. Not about our friendship. He texted and called every day. But his voice was softer and he seemed to not be feeling well, and maybe even a little depressed. As it became evident his treatment would be extended yet again, he became quieter. I decided to send him a package. It included many of the things we talked about - natural health remedies, a travel journal, magazines about Ireland, a candle to celebrate life, and some things I had gotten him for Christmas - had he come. But I knew that these alone would not touch him where he needed it the most and that was his spirit. So I wrote him a letter and a poem inside the journal. Not a romantic one – we weren’t at that stage. But just about going through a storm and emerging on the other side. Something we would have to agree to share at another time. Little did we know that the storm was still ahead and these were just the foretelling clouds.
But there was something extraordinary about the timing of my package. It was his birthday and I had no idea. Really! In this world of Facebook, I had no idea it
was coming up and the timing was nearly impeccable, something we later found
happens on both sides to each of us in regards to one another about many things. He called me when he was opening it and named
each thing thanking me. He hadn't read
the letter or the poem yet. He would
need to sit down with a cup of coffee and read it when he was alone. Later he texted another thank you and how he
enjoyed my writing and we chatted again that evening. Pretty anti-climactic but I still had hoped
it touched him on a deeper level but knew it would take time to digest.
The next night, Friday, I was on my way to a friends house for dinner when my text notification sounded. Scott and I had talked on and off that day but the tone identified him as the sender. "Bella, will you be my Valentine?" Will I be his Valentine? I wasn't expecting such a bold message but what took me more by surprise was my own response. There was no hesitation. Absolutely I would be his Valentine! I sent back one word. "Yup!" To which his one work text came back. "Yehaw!" Then I heard nothing for three hours but I smiled all through dinner.
The next night, Friday, I was on my way to a friends house for dinner when my text notification sounded. Scott and I had talked on and off that day but the tone identified him as the sender. "Bella, will you be my Valentine?" Will I be his Valentine? I wasn't expecting such a bold message but what took me more by surprise was my own response. There was no hesitation. Absolutely I would be his Valentine! I sent back one word. "Yup!" To which his one work text came back. "Yehaw!" Then I heard nothing for three hours but I smiled all through dinner.