'I' is The Queen!!! POST #33

Another magical night in Mobile – like so many in the past four years. There are too many factors that fed into Monday night; the night that I was Queen! So many life-long prayers were answered in such a simple, symbolic way and it was the most fun I ever had.

I ‘m a dreamer and often see the good in people when others can’t, yet I have a very hard time accepting credit for my own accomplishments and have often shot myself in the foot by passing it off too quickly. Though none of us could accomplish anything without the help of others, when recognition comes my way, my first instinct is to look at who else I should be passing the credit to, or who I should be pulling along. I’ve always preferred creating stars rather than being the star and often have felt embarrassed and self-conscious, like somehow, I didn’t really deserve it, or like an imposter where someone would stand up and yell, “She’s really not that great!”

Mobile has helped tremendously with this (see my post – “Legs of Ballies”) yet I didn’t realize how much so until Monday night. Two weeks ago, Les pointed out a plea for volunteers to dress in Mardi Gras attire and parade into a CEO convention to let out-of-towners know about the tradition that is fairly unique to this part of the country and - I must add – started here in Mobile! Always jumping at the chance to share the magic of Mobile, I immediately responded and decided to solicit a group of ten volunteers to participate.

As the night approached, I became less interested and more self-conscious. As my group of volunteers grew, then thinned, the thought of pulling a no-show was very strong. The event was at the Battle House – the same venue as my ‘The Big Band in the Crystal Ball Room’ Post… and once again, the grand marble stair case would come into play. I had written in the ‘Big Band’ post about Les and my own a grand descent down the staircase, though unannounced. This time, our entrance would be announced!

We arrived at our holding suite to an extremely large ice bucket of beer, wine, and beverages. While the CEO’s were at a reception in the grand ballroom, we were treated our own party while getting ready. It turned out that 12 of my recruits showed and there was about 35 total. It took about two minutes to become totally comfortable with mostly strangers and, in Mardi Gras fashion, the fun began. Though we arrived at 7 p.m. our tableau would not be until after 8:40 p.m. We had been there nearly an hour when the organizer came up and asked if I would be the queen. That was the first I had heard there would actually be a
queen that night.

My first thought was, “Why me?” I looked around and could see many other ‘Queenier’ women and was ready to point out and nominate them instead. But it was just a thought! A very, very, fleeting, fly in and right back out, thought! ‘Why, Of course I’d be the Queen!’ I heard myself say. And from that point on, I was swarmed with people attaching a long, extended robe - that clashed with the color of my dress - onto my shoulders and my only thought was, “It clashes! We can do this at Mardi Gras!” Then, on came the crown, and for the next 45 minutes, there was a barrage of pictures being taken with the queen. Next we were summoned to the top of the staircase.

The story of Mardi Gras was told and the King was first to make his grand entrance down the marble staircase, as many Mardi Gras Kings and Queens have done for over a century. As I waited for my own grand walk as queen, various thoughts went through my head – thoughts that surprised me. My Great Granddaddy was not one of the well-known families of Old Mobile, nor was I born and raised here, though, as I’ve said many times, my spirit was manufactured here. I thought of Camilla Parker Bowles – who stole her way into the throne. Yet, it really wasn’t Mardi Gras, rather a long, live commercial about Mobile, the city I love. For the first time in my, I knew that I knew that I knew, that I was the Queen! The Queen of Showing off Mobile! And in order to do so, it was essential to accept and step into the role!

The king reached the bottom of the stairs, and then they introduced me - the Queen! Queen Mary Beth! And for the first time in my life, as far back as I can remember, all self-consciousness was gone. I slowly waltzed down the stairs, doing exactly as instructed – “Walk like the dress you are in is made of snake skin!” I descended the stairs, the barefoot Queen, waving to a cheering crowd, meeting my king at the bottom. Taking his arm, we paraded through the room waving to the still-cheering crowd. Then we came to the front where we were handed another set of crowns and a king and queen from our CEO guests were chosen – a married couple of 45 years. 

The King and I (the Queen) got to crown King CEO and his queen and hand them their royal scepters. And then the rest of the Mardi Gras crowd was announced and “When the Saints Go Marching In” began playing as they danced down the stairs and through the crowds as well. For the next 20 – 30 minutes, the King – a real Mardi Gras king - and I stuck together dancing paths through the crowds and watching as some stiff-as-board CEO’s retreated to the sidelines as though we had just landed from Uranus, and others jumped in to dance as though they, too, had been dying to do it all their lives but nobody ever told them they could!

         As dramatic as we came in, we left, ascending the stairs in a slow dramatic walk, waving again to the cheering crowd. We stopped for one last wave on the marble balcony as the King, in true Mardi Gras Fashion, began a conversation with myself and my two Marshalls who had been manning my robe all night – one of whom was Les - about the ‘little people’. We stood and watched them, basking in our own greatness. And for the first time in my life, I felt completely natural, as though somehow, this were part of the plan for me – not to be on a pedestal, and certainly not to think I’m better than everybody else. But sometimes, we are offered a gift and we refuse to take it. Somebody pays us a compliment and we look around to see who they are talking about. Or we do something that is worth merit and then feel guilty or ashamed to take the credit. I can think of hundreds of other people who deserve credit for my accomplishments, successes and for all the good things that have ever happened to me. But this post, like that night, is about me! I’m the one to be celebrated! For the first time ever, I have been let out of the prison of self-consciousness. This was one of those ‘Ah ha’ moments, or one of life’s epiphany experiences when I realized that, for this night, I is the queen!