Mad Eyes Post #32

             I was driving through downtown Mobile today when I saw some people taking pictures of the Live Oaks.  I sat at a stop sign watching them marvel at the grand trees, remembering, all to well, my own awe when I had first seen them.  This got me thinking back to the easy adjustment to Mobile and I began comparing my feelings from then to now.  The transition was so smooth because the lifestyle here is so much easier than where I came from.  But, looking back, there was anxiety re-establishing my life here.   There was alot to learn.

       The last time I'd opened a checking account was over twenty years before and I still used that one.  Shortly after arriving in Mobile, I opened an account at a local credit union and deposited several thousand dollars.   Being a conservative spender, I wasn’t even remotely concerned about bouncing a check until receiving a call telling me a $30 check had bounced.  I knew it wasn’t possible so I called the bank only to find out it had bounced, twice,  and several other small checks had as well.  Though only a total of $110 in checks was written, there was over $200 racked up in fees.   What the heck!?!?

        Before going on, it is pertinent to say, I was still adjusting to the heat, was dehydrated, worrying over my mom, and had a severe migraine headache, seeing spots in my vision.  On this day, we were having a torrential downpour so the lighting was poor.

         I was certain it was a mistake so there was no need to “go New York” on them.  The tellers’ nice, pleasant voice assured me that everything would be okay.  But, after going into my account she explained that, because I was a new customer, all checks deposited are held for 11 business days for the first 60 days.   I had written a check to myself from my account in New York.   The money was held and the teller could not reverse the fees.  Not being one to throw away money, I demanded to talk to a supervisor, who told me that, if I could get to the credit union in 20 minutes, she will prevent even more charges that were due to hit at 3 p.m. but she wasn’t sure what else she could do. I was furious!

        I also looked like crap.  Mom had always told me that when you need to advocate for yourself, ‘You must look your best.’  “If you look like crap, you’ll be treated like crap!”  Something that I  found to be sad, but true.  So I rushed around, changed my clothes, put on makeup and headed out the door.  It is a good thing I didn’t know anyone here at that point because I was driving like a bat out of hell with a HUGE frown on my face!  

       Just before jumping out of the car, I grabbed my lipstick to top off my ‘best-self’ look, hoping it would help my case.  As I adjusted the mirror, my first thought was, “What the hell?”  I did not know that woman or how she got in my mirror!  I thought,  'I don't have thick, black eyebrows!  Who is she?' 
   
       Then I realized that when rushing to do my makeup, I had used my light brown eyebrow pencil – which is much harder – on my eyelids which, therefore, had no color.  I had used the much softer, jet black pencil on my eyebrows which resulted in me having obviously fake, dark black eyebrows, looking way, way angrier than I already was!   I looked so scary, it even scared me!

       Grabbing a napkin, I began wiping it off and, to my horror; it only smeared creating thicker, black eyebrows.  The more I wiped, the worse it got. I became even more frustrated after looking at the clock and seeing that, in 10 minutes, there would be more fees.

      Suddenly, I began laughing hysterically; so hard that tears rolled down my face, smearing my mascara making everything worse.  The worse I looked, the harder I laughed.  I called the bank from the parking lot and begged them to give me a couple extra minutes, which they did.  I ran home, washed my face and redid my makeup; laughing the whole time but, this time paying close attention to what I was doing, then I headed back. 

         When I entered and asked for the manager, I tried to hide my smile so as not to undermine the seriousness of this.  We went into her office on the opposite side of a glass window and sat down.  Before either said a word, I began laughing uncontrollably to the point of tears again.  She sat, watching, not knowing if she should laugh with me or call 911.   Between breaths and wiping the tears, I explained what had happened and that, had I not taken that last look in the mirror, I would have come barrolling in there all mad with dark, black eyebrows looking like a crazy woman.  By the time I was done telling the story, the manager was laughing so hard that she, too, was crying and wiping her own tears with a tissue, as the tellers watched inquisitively through the glass window. 

            By the time we could stop laughing, she looked at me and said, “Why Miss Harris!  You’ve just made my day!  Let’s get rid of all these fees here!”  She walked me to the lobby and, with a big smile said, “Welcome to Mobile!”   I left still laughing.  I thank God for those mad eyes, because they are probably what bailed me out of losing a couple hundred dollars.  I still use that credit union and, for about the first year, every teller knew my name and greeted me with huge smiles and looks that said, ‘We totally know all about your mad eyes!!!’