After becoming Scott's Valentine, he never let a day go
by without calling to say good morning and good night, at the very least. Each morning I awoke
to a sweet text, yet our communication stayed on neutral ground and I
appreciated that he didn't try to take it to a level anyplace other
than where we were; a friendship potentially blossoming into a partnership; something that we both just knew,
yet didn't talk about.
By late
January, it was evident still that Scott would not be able to travel so
he invited me to go out to Arizona for Valentine’s Day. My close friends
and family know that I was never the type to jump on a plane and/or travel
alone, yet something in my spirit told me that this was exactly what I needed
to do. I flew in on Thursday, February 12, 2015, certain that destiny
awaited me on the other end. Throughout my travels, Frek and I talked
with anticipation that we would finally be seeing each other for the first time
in 30 plus years.
The flight
arrived in Phoenix 45 minutes early so naturally, Frek was not there yet. I had pictured this robust man sweeping me into his arms and
swinging me around, my feet flying through the air in the levity of
serendipity. Okay...Not really to that extent. What happened was anything but, and every horror story
ever told of people developing a potential relationship before meeting in
person went through my head. By the time he arrived, my baggage was in
hand and I was waiting at the entrance. He didn't jump out of the vehicle
like I thought he would, and for a moment it seemed I was supposed to put my
own luggage in the back and just get in. After a moment, he go out very slowly and walked around the vehicle, his foot in a medical boot, and
silently lifted my bag into the back.
I was
unprepared for the frail, thin man that greeted me and my first thought was
that this
must be his father. He barely said a word on the drive home and
my mind was racing as I tried to align this meek, shy man with the guy on the
phone. I was
stuck here for 11 days and had to make the best of it, then I would leave and
we would be friends.
His house was
clean and I was surprised at how well decorated and homey it was. He
showed me to the guest room and, looking around, it was evident he’d gone out
of his way to make it comfortable and beautiful for me. There was a
vanity with a make-up mirror a new, empty
dresser just for me. The closet was empty with hangers ready and the
night stand by the bed had the latest months decorator and natural health
magazines; things we had talked about and he knew I loved. The bedding was beautiful, brand new, freshly washed and extremely comfortable. Looking around, it was easy to picture the man on the phone
doing all of this.
Having traveled
all night, I was exhausted and we opted to take naps in the living room, in
recliners that sat about 4 feet from each other. It was only around noon
and we slept till about 2:00. When we awoke, he suggested we go grocery
shopping so I could
pick out the food. We went to a whole foods type of store and I, being budget-minded, was being very selective but Frek had remembered from
previous conversations many of the things I like and he would quietly slip away
and come back with items from our phone conversations. We had a $200 bill
there and just after we put it away at the house, he offered to take me out to
dinner but I suggested cooking
there, which we did. He seemed a little anxious that I may be too tired or feel
'slave-driven' on my first night.
As we cooked
dinner, Frek was still very quiet. By this time, he had mentioned a few
times how much weight he had lost over the previous few months and it dawned on
me that the impact of his physical appearance was a strain on his
self-confidence; which was why he was so stand-offish. Not only that, but
when he stood up, it took him a minute to get his balance, hence the reason he
didn't leap out of the car, and especially why my
fantasy of our first meeting didn't come true. Another epiphany came to
me. It was really a good thing that we had talked for months
before meeting because, in all honesty, had I seen him before knowing his spirit, I may have passed on by, missing out on - what turned out to be -
the love of my life. We all tend to make assessments of people we know
nothing about and this made me wonder how many would-be great friendships and
relationships never happen because we won't venture past our own superficial standards if the person doesn't fit the 'profile'.
During dinner, Frek ran down a whole list of things he wanted to do over the next 10
days; things that he knew I would
enjoy. By the time we cleaned up and sat down for a cup of coffee before
an early bedtime ( I had gotten 2 hours of sleep in the previous 48 hours) the
man sitting four 4 feet away me in our respective recliners was slowly merging
into the man on the phone. I went to bed much earlier than him and as I
melted into a sound sleep I had feelings of peace, comfort, and hope.
