Casualty - Post 16

       When we got to the hospital, I took one last look at the blue sky and palm trees, and breathed in the warm ocean air; that which I had done so many times with Mom, before going inside. Mom was unconscious and it was evident that, indeed, she had taken a turn for the worse. It was about 11:30 a.m. and all we could do was sit and wait. It was Les and I, Shanon, my brother Chuck, my sister Sandy and her husband Ken. The minutes ticked on like hours as we measured her every breath. I thought of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemanes, when he knew his dying hour was drawing near and yet his disciples could not even stay awake to keep watch with him. Perhaps they, like us, were agonizing over minutes that dragged on like hours, dreading what the outcome would be.

All kinds of things ran through my mind and I wondered if there was a protocol for appropriate deathwatch thoughts. I thought back to when we were kids and we would mimic a death scene, wrenching our stomachs, stumbling around the room saying, “Uhhhh! Iiiii’m dyyyyyyiiiinnnnngggg!” The thought crossed my mind of Mom hopping up and doing just that, making her grand exit out of this life. I really didn’t know what to expect, yet, in true Deaton/Lovejoy form, my sense of humor kicked in, unsolicited, with various such scenarios. Perhaps it was a coping mechanism, one that I knew Mom would understand. Minutes turned into an hour, then two hours..

       That day, the stars were supposed to do some type of alignment that is only seen every 75 years. I don’t remember the details now, but at the time, I knew them word for word because Mom was dying and I had considered the possibility that she would die on that day. As I looked at Mom in her last fight, I knew she needed to know that we would be okay. I told her, “Mom, today is the perfect day! The stars are going to align tonight in a way that only happens every 75 years! There is going to be a great show up there and we can meet tonight under the stars!” Chuck could not tell her himself, so he asked me to tell her that he is okay and that she could go. Seeing my grown baby brother sitting next to our Mom, holding her hand and balling broke my heart.

       Sandy is a nurse at the same hospital and there was a jewelry and gift sale going on in another wing. She had taken Shanon just to give her a break from the monotony of minutes that seemed like hours. Yet in the whole scheme of things, the time was so short. Too short! A little later, they returned and Shanon – thanks to Aunt Sandy – had bought Mom a bracelet, necklace, and a little pink, velvet box that was designed to look like a bible. She then put the necklace around Mom’s neck and the bracelet on her wrist, then the box in her hands, which were placed one on top of the other. Ten minutes later, after assessing the emotions in the room, Shanon asked if she could give Les and I our Christmas gifts. Aunt Sandy – also known as Aunt Spoily – said yes. Shanon gave Les a watch. Then she gave me a blue, iridescent beaded necklace and earring set. As Mom lay dying, my own little girl comforted me by taking my own earrings and necklace off and put the new ones on me.

       It was about that time I decided to paint Mom’s fingernails, as she and all her sisters were known for their beautiful nails, hands, feet and skin. I wanted her nails to be as she would have wanted them. Shanon then got out Mom’s makeup bag and began putting makeup on her, careful to work around the oxygen mask. It was less than an hour after Shanon presented her gifts to her dying Grandma and grieving mom that Mom’s breathing slowed down and, after fifteen moments she breathed her last breath. It was 4:15 p.m.

      I don’t know why I was shocked! I knew it was coming! Yet none of us were truly prepared. We cried as though she had just suddenly dropped dead.   At that time, Shanon was sitting on Les’s lap. Somehow she had missed the fact that Mom had passed.   However, she did notice the oxygen mask was off and decided to complete the makeup job and put lipstick on Mom. Now, as far as death goes, Mom’s was about as glamorous as they come, with her own personal makeup artist, hair stylist, and nail tech right on hand.

       Sandy was talking on the phone and told someone that Mom had died 15 minutes before when Shanon, putting on the lipstick, jerked her head up! “Wait! Did she die?” Me: “Yes! 15 minutes ago!” I had expected her to run out the door or something. Instead, She looked back down at Mom in shock, then pulled the makeup bag back out and went on a mission to make Mom look perfect. We stayed with mom, primping her, holding her hand, and styling her hair for over two hours. It was hard to leave when her body was still warm. It never cooled down while we were there.

     Chuck and I  had told Mom over and over in those last couple hours to meet us under the stars, hoping she would hear us. We wanted some sign that she had a front-row seat to the starry show in the night sky. We said our last goodbye at around 7 p.m. We rushed out to see the stars only to find a cloudy sky. We headed to the beach – surely the skies would be clear there! Nope! Thick clouds. We wondered if Mom thought we had stiffed her! But later I found out, Mom had another appointment under the stars; with my sister in Oklahoma City. Like the other siblings who lived too far to come again before Mom passed, Kare was brokenhearted that she was not there. I shared with her earlier in the afternoon what I told Mom about the star phenomenon for that night. So Kare went out to meet Mom under the stars and, in OKC, the skies were clear and beautiful, and yes! It was a sight to behold! A night meant for Mom and Kare!