Come Sail Away Post #52

            Come Sail Away” by Styx, I guess you can say, is the theme song for my life. Several months ago, I was cooking dinner when my kids were in the next room talking and I heard Shanon say, “You should hear Mom sing Come Sail Away!”  To which they said, “I love when she sings that!”  Though I’m not much of a singer, I’m certain what they love is my heart and passion when it comes on.

I'm sailing away,
Set an open course for the virgin sea,
'Cause I've got to be free,
Free to face the life that's ahead of me,
On board, I'm the captain, so climb aboard,
We'll search for tomorrow on every shore,
And I'll try, Oh Lord I'll try, to carry on

               

As a child I was the adventurer of the family and on hikes, my sister Kare and I always led the pack anxious to see what was around the next bend.  Many times, while walking somewhere I would notice a path and veer off to find out where it went; probably not the smartest thing to do but I couldn’t stand not knowing.  In 2007 I began studying the mind, body and spirit connection and started looking at things from the ‘energy’ perspective.  Everything either feeds or bleeds, and some things that initially feed will ultimately bleed if we linger too long. 

I look to the sea,
Reflections in the waves spark my memory,
Some happy, some sad,
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had,
We lived happily forever, so the story goes,
But somehow we missed out on the pot of gold
But we'll try best that we can to carry on

            Since childhood, I often stop to look back and reflect;    “Where have I been, where am I at, and where am I going?”   Failure has been my companion more times than  necessary, and there were ‘happily ever after’s’ that never happened.  Being more than half way through life, every so often I ask myself, "How do I get to where I want to go?" At times I have questioned God, myself, and my alleged Guardian Angels and even contemplated kicking some Angel butt and telling them they were nothing but a bunch of dumb asses.   But again I would find myself praying…to God,  the universe, and even to my Guardian Angels,  seeking direction and asking  for wisdom.

A gathering of angels appeared above my head,
They sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said,
They said come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me lads,
Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me,
Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me baby,
Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me

               

And one day, the answer came and it is quite simple; the ‘power of next’.   Who is standing next to you?  Who are you investing your energy – time and resources - in?    Until then I thought that most people had been a positive experience.  But it was as though I was being probed further.   How long have I hung on to relationships that have outlived the purpose of our lives intersecting?  Who has been let in that shouldn’t have?   Who did I keep out that should have been let in?   I thought back to my college years;  a boss saw leadership qualities and begged me to stay with the company and let her mentor me into a management position but I didn’t have the confidence and moved on;  the young men who stepped forward and offered their friendship and love, the same men who actually turned out to be great people.   

But there were times when opportunity knocked on my door and I brought the wrong people along because I could see the potential in them, while at the same time, pushing my own horizon further away.  

       My eyes were opened to well-meaning people who come along and, rather than walking with us thru overcoming our fears and failures, they help us repackage it so that it looks prettier, more palatable and convenient to them.  Yet we find ourselves eventually doing nothing more than the hokey pokey but to a different song.  

       There were times I was too shy to step forward with what I had to bring to the table when I spotted people with shared passion, goals and energy, only to find out years later that they had identified the same in me but the message I gave was that of disinterest and it discouraged them from stepping out.

But one thing I will never stop doing is ‘sailing’.   I will continue to ‘Face the life that’s ahead of me’ and ‘search for tomorrow on every shore’.    I’m more conscious of who is allowed into my life and will be quick to part ways with those whose shared path is only meant for a short part of the journey – as hard and painful as this can be.  I’m committed to walking with those I love, through their fears and pain rather than repackaging it for my own convenience.   I will travel and explore the world and all life has to offer as I can.  But most of all, I will step forward – both in friendship and love – and accept the risks and potential pain that may come with that because one thing I have never stopped believing in is ‘happily ever after’.