How to Spend Christmas Alone and Not Have It Suck: Post #57

            For a variety of reasons – some beyond human control and partly by choice – I found myself spending Christmas alone, something that is beyond comprehension to most, even me until it happened.  In an odd way I have passed a major cultural and psychological test; spending Christmas alone and actually enjoying it.  My kids are in New York with their dad for the holiday, part of our agreement in order for me to move south.  In the few days before, it dawned on me that the options offered early on had expired as people made other arrangements when my original plans were still in place.  There were moments of worry, fret, and disappointment.  After all, if it is my fate to spend Christmas alone, shouldn’t I have a complete meltdown into depression and despair that will take months to recover from?  Some would say, “Yes!  Definitely!”  But that is only because our culture tells us we are supposed to.  I had contemplated going across the bay to the Grand Hotel for a couple of days but in the end decided that, perhaps being alone was just what I needed.  On Christmas Eve night, as I pulled the covers up to my neck, I made a choice that basically melted me into a cocoon of peace and a sound, cozy sleep.  Tomorrow is going to be a great day!

           

On Christmas morning, I woke up with the same eagerness of a kid waiting to see what Santa left under the tree.  I put on what was left of my coffee, showered, did my make-up and hair, and dressed up for the occasion of spending the day alone.   As I put what was also the last teaspoon of cream in my coffee, it was evident that, on this special morning, my extended coffee time was not going to happen because I ran out. However, I took what I had to the living room to enjoy by the tree.  But something was missing besides my three children and the special people that I love – a fate I had already accepted.  Santa had obviously failed to show.  Perhaps I made the naughty list or something.  But then I remembered, “Oh yeah!  I am Santa!” at which point I promptly placed the gifts I had given myself, a set of cologne and a gold bag, on the ottoman by the tree so I could stare at it.  And as I enjoyed my sparse cup of coffee, I thanked God for three healthy kids, and that all those who I love are safe and sound, even if they are not with me.  Barring a loss or life-altering injury over the previous year, Christmas alone doesn’t have to suck!   The lessons of 2004 – my year from hell - had taught me well; if no one is dying, dead, or brain injured, or going through a divorce – and losing church friends because of it, we are doing real well.  And so on this Christmas day, I am just fine!

            For those who have ever wondered what to do if you find yourself alone on Christmas, I have devised my very own self-help list for you.

Mary Beth’s ‘How to Spend Christmas Alone and Not Have It Suck’ List

1.      For the love of God, PLAN!  Don’t wake up on Christmas with a limited amount of coffee and cream in the house.  Or whatever that first food or drink that sets your day on the right foot; especially when you’re spending it alone!                                                                                                                                 

  2.      Get dressed; fix yourself up as though you are expecting company.  You never know, you may get it and you don’t want to look like something that cat dragged home!

3.      If you are not a selfie picture taker, take a selfie or two.  If you are, take a break from yourself.  I took about my second selfie ever on Christmas morning.  My first was a disaster, intended to send to a friend to prove I was getting ready to get out the door. I immediately deleted it as it was supposed to be of my wet head after stepping out of the shower. But let’s just say, if you are not experienced at taking selfies, just remember, the camera sees whatever you would see from various angles.  Until today, that was a once and done deal.

4.      Display your gifts by the tree.  Then sit there with your coffee or morning beverage of choice and stare at them.


5.      Do your Christmas cards.  I found there was time to think about who the recipient was and write personal messages.  Without the pressures of everyday life I was able to avoid the traditional ‘wham-bam-thank-you-mam’ approach to writing out cards.

I was shocked at the number of people at the car wash.  

6.      Assess your environment.  Scope the hood for potential break-ins.  Know what’s open and what your options are.



7.  Don’t go anyplace on Christmas that you wouldn’t any other day – unless it is a treat.  Driving by Waffle House, I was surprised at how crowded it was and I wanted to find out, “Who on earth would be there for Christmas?”  I found myself turning into the parking lot, only to veer sharply back into the lane when I realized, “I wouldn’t choose to eat there alone if it wasn’t Christmas!  Why subject myself to that today?”

8.      Don’t stop at the first open gas station you see for coffee and cream because, chances are, they don’t sell either!   And don’t settle for ice cream if they don’t have cream.  There IS someplace else open that has it!  

9.        If you did buy ice cream because there was no half and half,  put it in your gas station coffee.  It’s the only way you’ll be able to drink it.

10.      Grab some wine – or not.  I opted not.  But it is a personal choice of whatever will make your day alone on Christmas more special to you.

11.      For God’s sake, get your head out of your Christmas butt and listen to the store clerk when she gives you the total.  ‘Did I really just pay $9.78 for gas station coffee and a half pint of ice cream?’

12.  Promptly throw ice cream gas station coffee away after about the fifth drink when you realize that 'ain’t nothin gonna help that coffee!'

13.  Throw away bad beans.   Nobody needs bad beans!  Especially when you’re alone on Christmas.

14.  Swing on your porch swing.  You have time!

15.  Spy on your neighbors.  We all know that anyone with a life or any regard for the privacy of others has no time to spy on their damn neighbors.  But on Christmas day, when you are all by yourself and nobody is watching, you do have time!  Because, let’s face it!  Today, you don’t have a life!  And 90% of them aren’t home anyway so… spy away!

    16.  Throw out dead flowers.  Out with the old and dead, in with new life.  It’s almost New Years and a new year!

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As you can see, there is really no magical list that will miraculously get you through a solo Christmas.  Even the mundane things of life can keep us amused if we so choose.  It is a choice made ahead of time that, no matter what; it’s going to be a good day!  It is taking a moment to be thankful for the things that seem so mundane but, when our lives are suddenly catapulted into a crisis, we wish for nothing but the mundane.  It is gratitude for what is and faith in what may be.  It is choosing to be hopeful, reflective, nostalgic, and all those things that make the holiday season wonderful, whether or not you are spending it alone.

Happy Holidays!